


jia mei; 加美

by noair (orphan_account)



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, Heavy Angst, Love Confessions, M/M, Slice of Life, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-12
Updated: 2019-07-12
Packaged: 2020-06-26 20:34:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,495
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19775923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/noair
Summary: he suddenly remembered the endless nights in which he sat at his dorm desk, weeping into the blank stationary that seemed to stare right back at him. kun could not find the words to express his love, express the feelings he felt towards the boy who now stood right in front of him. for years he had pined over his one love, missing every moment he spent away from him. now that kun was alone with sicheng, it felt like time had stopped.he had to take the chance now.





	jia mei; 加美

**Author's Note:**

> hello! thank you clicking on this. i don't expect anyone at all to actually read this so i'm glad you've taken the time to at least skim this note ahaha. thank you and please enjoy!

the school courtyard sat in the middle of the main classrooms, acting as a separator between the lower and upperclassmen’s. busy students flocked to and fro, often crossing through the courtyard. though a new student may have stopped for a bit to admire the red plum tree blossoms that bloomed brilliantly in the spring, most students were already accustomed to the sight and paid no attention to the scenery. the school was practically known for the large plum tree that sat on the right hand side of the courtyard, towering over the two school buildings while also providing shade for the passing students.

the guangzhou air that day was cleaner than normal. walking through the courtyard with his handwritten letter pressed up against his chest as it sat in his inner coat pocket, kun took a deep inhale and quickly sighed. the sky was clear, no clouds in sight. for some reason, kun preferred these kinds of days, no matter how much his workload was or how busy he was with student council. no matter the situation, kun was happier when the sky was blue. it gave him a sense of happiness for the future.

sitting down at his designated seat, kun tapped his red and black pencil against the worn-out wooden desk that still had engravings from students before him. most of the messages were quick, drawn out slang, with even some newer words and numbers like the 666 that seemed to glare back at him from the top right corner. from the numerous classroom windows, kun could hear the chirping of the swallows that had made a nest nearby. kun smiled as he watched one of the birds soar through the air, its song drifting away as it flew farther. would he be able to do that one day?

when the class bell finally rang and kun and his classmates had finished their daily eye exercises that were mandated by the school, the young man could feel his heartbeat increase with every second that passed. why was he so nervous? kun gripped at his chest, directly above where his letter sat and where his heart was located. it was now or never, it seemed.

fellow students nearby nodded as kun walked past, giving their respects to the student council president as they all prepared to head back to the canteen and dorm rooms. thankfully, both of those buildings were on the other side of the campus, so there was no need to cross into the courtyard for now. kun would be alone for a few moments.

as kun walked up the steps in order to reach the courtyard, he observed the state of the steps. with a few chips and cracks here and there, they had definitely seen better, pristine days. dead millipedes were strewn about the floor, all of them crushed by some innocent student most likely. posters with english and chinese proverbs lined the walls surrounding the steps. though he had seen the posters numerous times already, none of them seemed to stick to kun’s mind. the only one he had remembered was the more well-known saying, _the early bird gets the worm_. from the corner of his eye, kun barely managed to glance at the poster as he raced up the steps into the courtyard.

with his heartbeat steadily increasing, kun was sure that anyone around would’ve been able to hear the loud pounding sound that came from his chest. underneath the large plum tree was a small stone bench, small enough only to fit two people who sat close together. there, in front of the bench, stood sicheng, precariously reaching out to pick a blossom off of one of the low hanging branches. kun’s smile faltered. the boy looked so beautiful, even now. how long had it been since they both talked?

kun walked forward with small steps, reaching into his coat pocket to produce the letter he had written over the span of days, weeks, months. he suddenly remembered the endless nights in which he sat at his dorm desk, weeping into the blank stationary that seemed to stare right back at him. kun could not find the words to express his love, express the feelings he felt towards the boy who now stood right in front of him. for years he had pined over his one love, missing every moment he spent away from him. now that kun was alone with sicheng, it felt like time had stopped. he had to take the chance now.

when sicheng finally noticed kun’s presence, a light breeze began to blow through the courtyard. a few buds and blossoms fell from the tree and landed without fanfare onto the porcelain tile, draping the entire floor with a sea of red. sicheng smiled at kun, tilting his head to the side as if to ask what he was doing. kun swallowed harshly, hands shaking as he held tightly onto the letter.

with one more deep breath, kun spoke up. “sicheng. thank you for coming here.” shaking his head, kun almost laughed at how pathetic he sounded. “i… i really appreciate it. thank you.”

sicheng waved it off, smile still plastered on his face. reaching up to grab another blossom, sicheng replied, “it’s alright. it’s the least i can do for a good friend. what did you ask me to come here for?”

kun watched with intense detail as sicheng plucked one more blossom from the tree, twirling it in his slender fingers and finally tucking it behind his ear. it was moments like this that kun wanted to reach out and grasp the boy’s hand and place another behind his head as he pulled him in for an embrace. there was nothing more that kun wanted than to place one single kiss onto the plump lips of the other.

“sicheng, i’m sorry. sicheng, i-“ kun realised how disgusting he sounded. he was a fool who would never be able to have the person he loved _!_ why was he even trying by this point? he was so revolting to look at. if his classmates had been here, how would they have seen him? the class president, reduced to a mess like this? it was appalling.

kun took a few steps closer, closing in the gap that stood between the two boys. relaxing his grip on the letter he had adorned with numerous tears and kisses, he pressed it into sicheng’s soft hands. “sicheng, i love you. i’m sorry, but i love you.” kun tried his best to grin but could only feel the sickness inside his stomach grow as his heart beat out of control. when kun pulled away, no longer confident enough to keep his hands in the other’s hands, he could easily see how nervous he was. his hands shook with induced fervor, a sorry sight to see. when kun finally looked up, all he could see was the pained expression of the younger boy.

with furrowed brows, sicheng delicately traced the letter, noting the numerous marks where it seemed that kun’s tears had hit and dried. sicheng turned his head to the side, not able to look kun directly in the eyes.

“ge… i don’t know what to say.” sicheng started out, biting down on his lower lip. kun hated seeing sicheng like this. no longer the cheerful, bright kid that kun had always seen him as, the elder berated himself for ever doing this. he hated himself.

“i wish i could reciprocate the feelings, i really do. you’ve done so much for me in the past- there’s no way i can forget that.” sicheng continued, scanning over the letter. “but i’m afraid i don’t like you back. i’m sorry, kun ge. i’m so sorry.” folding the letter back up and pressing it close to his heart, sicheng gave away to a sigh. “ge,” he began, walking closer to kun with an extended arm.

kun immediately stepped back, retracting his hand from ever meeting sicheng’s. though he wanted to reach out and hold sicheng’s hand one last time, he had to fight back the urge. it was too shameful.

kun, with a hoarse voice that had changed in turn with the tears that welled in his eyes and threatened to fall, turned his back to sicheng.

“it’s alright. i’m going to the canteen now. i’m sorry for bothering your day like this, sicheng.” he shook his head in disbelief of himself. “thank you for taking the time to be here, however. i appreciate it.” and with those words, kun travelled back down the steps, wiping away at the tears that had trailed down his cheeks.

when kun was finally out of sight, sicheng pulled the letter back out and reread it thoroughly. with heavy eyelids that fluttered rapidly, sicheng looked up at the sky. he hated the clear sky. sicheng wished that there would be clouds tomorrow to hide the sorrow that he knew would follow into the next day.

**Author's Note:**

> so this fic is actually based 100% on my experiences living in china. every detail about the school and student life is pretty much pulled out from my own memories of going to school there. i really love my old school, so it was a pleasure to write this. oh, i also love kun and sicheng. 
> 
> connect with me!  
> [twitter](https://twitter.com/zhunyeon)  
> [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/haknyeonism)  
> (i ult the boyz, nct, aoa, and ladies code :D)


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